Me and myself July 29, 2007

One thing that I have realized about myself is the fact that I am very different from almost everyone else I know.  I feel like I am not as needy or as demanding as most people and I sometimes think to myself that everything is kind of out of control in the world around me and I can’t help but feel hopeless in just watching everything crumble around me.

I am very much a control freak.  I have a lot of theories in my head about how things have to be done in order to be considered finished correctly.  There is always an order, and a system and everything always falls into place.  Yes, if something doesn’t work it drives me insane and I become useless trying to figure out why it did not work.  I seriously am crazy like that, but at least no one else gets involved in my temporary insanity.  I do pretty well on my own because I am very independent and it is one of my pet peeves when people try to get involved in helping me out.

I think I need to refocus myself on getting out of these habits again.  I need to feel like it is all right to just leave things alone.  Even if it will make me go crazy and I will feel like I am contributing to the world’s chaos I think I have to.  At least then I will be a part of something bigger than myself?

What a week. July 29, 2007

Since I made a bad choice tonight and got all hopped up on frigging caffeine I am at the beginning of what seems to be a long, downward spiral towards a sleepless and restless night. I was thinking about a lot of events that happened to me this week. I am not a drama queen by any means. I hate dramatics. If I wanted entertainment I would watch TV.

For instance, on Thursday night, someone called me and told me that there was a strong possibility that they were going to jail, and if they did end up there, I was going to be their one phone call and it was imperative that I answer my cell phone at that time. Now, most people would probably want to know details about this. I really didn’t care. I just wanted to be left alone. I don’t want that kind of responsibility! Seriously, that sucks when people go to jail but I don’t want to be known as the girl who blew everything because I missed a phone call. I always miss phone calls. I am the first to admit that I am flaky and unreliable when it comes to answering my cell phone. Apparently this person has not been thrown in jail, or they had called someone else knowing that I would probably forget my cell phone in my car for hours on end. I don’t know.

One good thing did happen this week, however. I did get to see The Simpsons Movie on Friday and it was brilliant. The last few seasons of the TV show haven’t been very good in my opinion but the movie definitely was fun. I recommend seeing that before seeing I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. Chuck and Larry was definitely a let down for me but that’s another story I suppose.

Anyway … that is my random, tired yet over caffeinated babble. Enjoy.

I couldn’t sleep … July 24, 2007

… so I decided to alphabetize my interests:

abercrombie boys, alligators, apple martinis, arizona, avoiding work, basketball, beautiful people, beauty, being blonde, being cheerful, being happy, being hot, being loud, being me, being positive, being with people, books, boys, brand new, bubble baths, bubble gum, bunnies, burn outs, camaros, candles, cars, cartoons, celebrity jeopardy, celicas, champagne, chapstick, cherries, cherry coke, chocolate, clothes, coach, conan o’brien, corona light, corvettes, cuddling, dancing, dogs, dragons, drinking, drinking water, driving, driving fast, eating, ebay, exploding dog, family, fashion, fast cars, fat tire, fiction, firebirds, flirting, flowers, foo fighters, football, friends, fun, getting dressed up, good kissers, grey goose, gucci, gummy bears, happy hour, having fun, high end cars, hip hop, hollister boys, hot boys, hot rods, hot wheels, hugs, ignoring people, jack and coke, jazz, joe cool, joe zombie, kissing, lemon martinis, lingerie, lip gloss, listening to music, literature, louis vuitton, makeup, making out, manchester united, manicures, martinis, meditation, meeting people, mongoose, movies, mr2s, music, new castle, new orleans, new york, nsx’s, parties, partying, perfection, pirates, pop rocks, prada, primered cars, punk, punk music, puppies, purses, rainy days, reading, rk sport, rock, rolling rock, scrubs, sex, sexy boys, sexy rap mixes, shooting stars, short skirts, silly string, skyy, sleeping, soccer, stars, string cheese, sunglasses, supras, swimming, swing music, taking pictures, tanning, tennis, tickling, trans ams, traveling, trouble, trucks, tucson, tuner cars, university of arizona, video games, vodka, volkswagons, whipped cream, zebras.

I will have to continue elaborating on this later.

Note to Self: Set more unobtainable goals … July 19, 2007

Here are some goals I want to reach by the end of the year:

1)  Lose ten pounds - not sure why, it just seems like a good idea

2)  Keep contributing to my savings account so one day I can buy a house

3)  Stay the way I am right now:  Upbeat, Charming and Amazing

I will have to keep reminding myself of these goals … I really want to do something special for myself next year.  I think I can make it out of my small rut I got myself into.  I feel good about life. 

The Two Things I’ve Learned this Weekend July 15, 2007

I have had a very productive weekend and I have learned quite a few things, but only two of them really matter so I wanted to share them with the world.

IMPORTANT THING I LEARNED (#1)

If someone is going to go out on an all night binge drinking spree, it is good to have a plan when you come home. Since I didn’t feel drunk until I laid down in bed and attempted using the computer (and I am still convinced that it was the brightness of the screen in the darkness of the room that made me sick) one should have a garbage receptical nearby just in case one has to get sick in a hurry.

IMPORTANT THING I LEARNED (#2)

The newest Harry Potter movie (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix) was exactly how I imagined it would be. This made me slightly irritated. Definitely see Transformers before you see this movie … Transformers was way better, and I consider myself a Harry Potter fan for the most part.

Oh well, just keep it all in mind that even long, drunken weekends can be learning experiences and I am glad I could get all of that out there.

Happy 4th of July July 4, 2007

I love America, thank you for the random day off in the middle of the week and thank you for making me an accessory to a crime for smuggling illegal contraband into Arizona and thank you for the lovely hotdogs.

God bless America and the exciting week it has already brought to me.

Now let us celebrate by blowing up said illegal contraband and quite possibly starting a brushfire or losing a limb.

…that was a joke… no one will blow anything up until MUCH later today.

In-N-Out Burger is like mana from heaven July 2, 2007

The best thing about living in Tucson now is that we have a brand new In-N-Out Burger finally.  Every day I go to work, I imagine that lovely red and yellow sign just a block away.  After eating my wonderful burger and fries I feel like a new person.  I feel like I can rebuild homes for the homeless and douse burning wildfires single-handedly.  I think I can find the cure for cancer.

The wonderful thing about this new found emotion of sheer, powerful motivation is that I look at my pile of work after I finish this glorious meal and I immediately abandon all hope that this emotion will stick around.  If I didn’t feel discouraged after that then my feeler theory wouldn’t hold up.  Although the delicious morsels that is In-N-Out burger does mess with my mind, I still love it.

Yes, I do love In-N-Out burger.  And yes, I would marry it … if it was legal to do that sort of thing in Arizona.