Most people who know me realize that I can only handle one emotion at a time. It’s not that I don’t want more than one, it is more or less that fact that I do get overwhelmed when I experience two or more dramatic emotions.
I like to refer to my one allocated emotion at a time as “my feeling” or occasionally “my feeler” and sometimes that makes people think I am crazy. Sometimes I like to remind my friends or family that what they had just said or done has “hurt my feeling” and I hope they would stop.
Very rarely does my feeling get hurt though. Most of the time I consider myself happy. It doesn’t really get sketchy until mood swings start happening. I try to avoid them at all costs but mood swings are like angry muggers who hold my feeler against its will at gunpoint. Mood swings take my feeler’s lunch money and then punch it in the face. My feeling … now disoriented and betrayed (yes, my FEELER can have more than one emotion, only I elect not to) starts making me do crazy things. It first makes me swear violiently and loud. Then it makes me sit and stare unproductively. Occasionally it then moves on to happier things but most of the time it goes through a two feeling rotation of angry and sadness for awhile first.
Many people I am sure think that the single emotion system cannot support a completely normal individual and I am missing out on other things (like being happy AND in love) but the longer one thinks about it, the more I am sure they realize that usually having more than one emotion is overrated. Seriously, my life has become dramatically simplier since I began using this scientific system of organizing my emotion.
I think that perhaps one day my theory of emotion will catch on. Maybe I should write a book about it and publish a chart of acceptable emotions one can feel one at a time. It will sort of rival the “pain chart” that hospitals use. Only instead of just a slightly annoyed face going to a screaming in agony face, it will have all sort of interesting emotional genres.
Maybe my feeling chart will catch on and people will just point to how they feel instead of freaking out and punching people in the face for their lunch money. Wow. I could really make a difference in the world.