pixystixy

A healthy dose of daily randomness

Highlights from my journal (Week 1) August 27, 2007

Filed under: Lists,Personal,Strange Observations,The "Feeler" theory — pixystixy @ 12:00 am

“Since I have yet been able to master the art of communication, and I do not feel comfortable discussing my feelings with other people I started this journal.  I had a nervous breakdown today and I believe this will be somewhat therapeutic for me.

… (edited for content)  🙂

My main problem is that I feel emotionally damaged.  I always give, and give and give and when things don’t work out, I feel like pieces of my soul are lost forever because of it.

Today was interesting because I got to see Superbad with Chris.  It was an awesome movie and it really made me want to change my name to McLovin.  I am convinced that only good can come from that.

I want to start setting goals for myself.  Here are some recent ideas:

1.)  Learn to speak Polish fluently

2.)  Lose 10-15 pounds, just to feel healthier and happier

3.)  Smile more

The last one is most important to me.  I want people to see me as a happy and positive individual and smiling always helps with gaining confidence and trust with new people.  Being fluent in Polish is also important to me.  I will sort of feel like I am letting my heritage go if I don’t even try and my family worked so hard to come to this country and provide a life for my parents and for me I really want to hang on to that.”

Yes, that was the Reader’s Digest version and I left out all of the juicy personal details but it is definitely a step in the right direction for me.  Maybe I will build up enough confidence to one day feel better about putting the way I feel out there for everyone to see but this is just one little baby step at a time.

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Celebrity Look-alikes? Haha! August 1, 2007

Filed under: Humor,Personal,Strange Observations — pixystixy @ 11:36 pm

Why do they think I am Indian or Asian? LOL. I tried it with 4 different pictures and I keep coming up the same … very strange! =)

Here is attempt 4 (even with my worst washed out photo I still am asian!)

I guess my Polish powers are wearing off? … caluski 😉

More attempts …

Apparently I look like Angelina Jolie in this one! (That’s hot)

 

Me and myself July 29, 2007

Filed under: Personal,Strange Observations — pixystixy @ 11:55 am

One thing that I have realized about myself is the fact that I am very different from almost everyone else I know.  I feel like I am not as needy or as demanding as most people and I sometimes think to myself that everything is kind of out of control in the world around me and I can’t help but feel hopeless in just watching everything crumble around me.

I am very much a control freak.  I have a lot of theories in my head about how things have to be done in order to be considered finished correctly.  There is always an order, and a system and everything always falls into place.  Yes, if something doesn’t work it drives me insane and I become useless trying to figure out why it did not work.  I seriously am crazy like that, but at least no one else gets involved in my temporary insanity.  I do pretty well on my own because I am very independent and it is one of my pet peeves when people try to get involved in helping me out.

I think I need to refocus myself on getting out of these habits again.  I need to feel like it is all right to just leave things alone.  Even if it will make me go crazy and I will feel like I am contributing to the world’s chaos I think I have to.  At least then I will be a part of something bigger than myself?

 

What a week.

Filed under: Movies,Newest Entries,Strange Observations — pixystixy @ 1:20 am

Since I made a bad choice tonight and got all hopped up on frigging caffeine I am at the beginning of what seems to be a long, downward spiral towards a sleepless and restless night. I was thinking about a lot of events that happened to me this week. I am not a drama queen by any means. I hate dramatics. If I wanted entertainment I would watch TV.

For instance, on Thursday night, someone called me and told me that there was a strong possibility that they were going to jail, and if they did end up there, I was going to be their one phone call and it was imperative that I answer my cell phone at that time. Now, most people would probably want to know details about this. I really didn’t care. I just wanted to be left alone. I don’t want that kind of responsibility! Seriously, that sucks when people go to jail but I don’t want to be known as the girl who blew everything because I missed a phone call. I always miss phone calls. I am the first to admit that I am flaky and unreliable when it comes to answering my cell phone. Apparently this person has not been thrown in jail, or they had called someone else knowing that I would probably forget my cell phone in my car for hours on end. I don’t know.

One good thing did happen this week, however. I did get to see The Simpsons Movie on Friday and it was brilliant. The last few seasons of the TV show haven’t been very good in my opinion but the movie definitely was fun. I recommend seeing that before seeing I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. Chuck and Larry was definitely a let down for me but that’s another story I suppose.

Anyway … that is my random, tired yet over caffeinated babble. Enjoy.

 

I couldn’t sleep … July 24, 2007

Filed under: Humor,Lists,Strange Observations,Uncategorized — pixystixy @ 12:47 am

… so I decided to alphabetize my interests:

abercrombie boys, alligators, apple martinis, arizona, avoiding work, basketball, beautiful people, beauty, being blonde, being cheerful, being happy, being hot, being loud, being me, being positive, being with people, books, boys, brand new, bubble baths, bubble gum, bunnies, burn outs, camaros, candles, cars, cartoons, celebrity jeopardy, celicas, champagne, chapstick, cherries, cherry coke, chocolate, clothes, coach, conan o’brien, corona light, corvettes, cuddling, dancing, dogs, dragons, drinking, drinking water, driving, driving fast, eating, ebay, exploding dog, family, fashion, fast cars, fat tire, fiction, firebirds, flirting, flowers, foo fighters, football, friends, fun, getting dressed up, good kissers, grey goose, gucci, gummy bears, happy hour, having fun, high end cars, hip hop, hollister boys, hot boys, hot rods, hot wheels, hugs, ignoring people, jack and coke, jazz, joe cool, joe zombie, kissing, lemon martinis, lingerie, lip gloss, listening to music, literature, louis vuitton, makeup, making out, manchester united, manicures, martinis, meditation, meeting people, mongoose, movies, mr2s, music, new castle, new orleans, new york, nsx’s, parties, partying, perfection, pirates, pop rocks, prada, primered cars, punk, punk music, puppies, purses, rainy days, reading, rk sport, rock, rolling rock, scrubs, sex, sexy boys, sexy rap mixes, shooting stars, short skirts, silly string, skyy, sleeping, soccer, stars, string cheese, sunglasses, supras, swimming, swing music, taking pictures, tanning, tennis, tickling, trans ams, traveling, trouble, trucks, tucson, tuner cars, university of arizona, video games, vodka, volkswagons, whipped cream, zebras.

I will have to continue elaborating on this later.

 

In-N-Out Burger is like mana from heaven July 2, 2007

Filed under: Arizona,Humor,Strange Observations,The "Feeler" theory,Tucson — pixystixy @ 2:24 pm

The best thing about living in Tucson now is that we have a brand new In-N-Out Burger finally.  Every day I go to work, I imagine that lovely red and yellow sign just a block away.  After eating my wonderful burger and fries I feel like a new person.  I feel like I can rebuild homes for the homeless and douse burning wildfires single-handedly.  I think I can find the cure for cancer.

The wonderful thing about this new found emotion of sheer, powerful motivation is that I look at my pile of work after I finish this glorious meal and I immediately abandon all hope that this emotion will stick around.  If I didn’t feel discouraged after that then my feeler theory wouldn’t hold up.  Although the delicious morsels that is In-N-Out burger does mess with my mind, I still love it.

Yes, I do love In-N-Out burger.  And yes, I would marry it … if it was legal to do that sort of thing in Arizona.

 

My Reflection on the Chris Benoit News June 25, 2007

Filed under: Newest Entries,News,Strange Observations — pixystixy @ 10:35 pm

Even though I have never considered myself an avid wrestling fan, the WWE has been catching a lot of flack for the recent death of Chris Benoit and his family and personally, I think it is wrong to criticize the WWE for the Vince McMahon “death stunt” at this time.

WWE is fake. Everyone knows it, including it’s most devote fans. Vince McMahon’s death was a huge publicity scheme to draw in more viewers and I must say, it was just shocking and attention grabbing enough to do just that.

Now that the deaths of Chris Benoit and his family are lumped into this ordeal, it has become a target of public outpouring criticism and anger. To me, this is just as ridiculous as blaming Marilyn Manson for the Columbine shootings.

As much as we wish to pinpoint easy to solve reasons for horrible events, it is not that clean cut and clear. I listen to hard rock music and play Grand Theft Auto but I am still proud to say I have never shanked a prostitute or contemplated murdering anyone.

We can’t blame television, music or the movies for these events. Yes, somethings on T.V. are in poor taste and there are CDs I won’t buy from certain artists but we can’t blame a disgusting attempt at marketing wrestling to a larger demographic for its timing. Who knew?

**********************************

To further comment (June 26, 2007 at 11:44 pm)

To be honest, the “teasers” they had about McMahon’s death had me interested in watching! It seemed like an exciting storyline had finally began. I do not believe that Chris Benoit’s death did anything but take away from this since the WWE had to abandon the storyline immediately to have their “tribute” episode. I do agree with “Casual Observation” who commented on my earlier entry that doing this tribute may have been in poor taste since this situation is being investigated as a double murder-suicide still, however I do understand why the WWE would choose to do it this way.

Chris Benoit, as a wrestler, was amazing. Obviously the WWE and wrestling fans everywhere want to remember him as just that. I believe that is why the tribute was done. Many, many years ago, before information was literally at everyone’s fingertips this may have been enough to put positive spin on what happened … even to the point of ignoring evidence. In the age of technology however, we cannot accept the fact that someone larger than life who is idolized by hundreds and thousands of people could do such a thing … even if it is still speculation at this point.

Just like the Virginia Tech massacre, people are outraged by this move. Just as people were angered by news stations airing the manifesto of a deranged killer then, people will be mad about a tribute to a suspected murderer now. I understand that from both angles.

I am a firm believer that when tragedy strikes, sometimes it is just in best taste to announce it to the world and leave it be until more information comes to light. Speculation at this point is worthless, especially since the sheriffs working on this case seem to be tight-lipped still. I believe that the best move is to feel things out first, since it is obvious controversy will surround this subject for quite some time now … however the WWE is not unfamiliar with controversy at all. In fact, it sort of thrives on it so who knows. Maybe it was their prerogative to air this tribute right after the news came out about Benoit’s death after all.  Obviously no one will ever know for sure … except of course the “late” Vince McMahon. 😉