A healthy dose of daily randomness

Highlights from my journal (Week 1) August 27, 2007

Filed under: Lists,Personal,Strange Observations,The "Feeler" theory — pixystixy @ 12:00 am

“Since I have yet been able to master the art of communication, and I do not feel comfortable discussing my feelings with other people I started this journal.  I had a nervous breakdown today and I believe this will be somewhat therapeutic for me.

… (edited for content)  🙂

My main problem is that I feel emotionally damaged.  I always give, and give and give and when things don’t work out, I feel like pieces of my soul are lost forever because of it.

Today was interesting because I got to see Superbad with Chris.  It was an awesome movie and it really made me want to change my name to McLovin.  I am convinced that only good can come from that.

I want to start setting goals for myself.  Here are some recent ideas:

1.)  Learn to speak Polish fluently

2.)  Lose 10-15 pounds, just to feel healthier and happier

3.)  Smile more

The last one is most important to me.  I want people to see me as a happy and positive individual and smiling always helps with gaining confidence and trust with new people.  Being fluent in Polish is also important to me.  I will sort of feel like I am letting my heritage go if I don’t even try and my family worked so hard to come to this country and provide a life for my parents and for me I really want to hang on to that.”

Yes, that was the Reader’s Digest version and I left out all of the juicy personal details but it is definitely a step in the right direction for me.  Maybe I will build up enough confidence to one day feel better about putting the way I feel out there for everyone to see but this is just one little baby step at a time.


Celebrity Look-alikes? Haha! August 1, 2007

Filed under: Humor,Personal,Strange Observations — pixystixy @ 11:36 pm

Why do they think I am Indian or Asian? LOL. I tried it with 4 different pictures and I keep coming up the same … very strange! =)

Here is attempt 4 (even with my worst washed out photo I still am asian!)

I guess my Polish powers are wearing off? … caluski 😉

More attempts …

Apparently I look like Angelina Jolie in this one! (That’s hot)


Me and myself July 29, 2007

Filed under: Personal,Strange Observations — pixystixy @ 11:55 am

One thing that I have realized about myself is the fact that I am very different from almost everyone else I know.  I feel like I am not as needy or as demanding as most people and I sometimes think to myself that everything is kind of out of control in the world around me and I can’t help but feel hopeless in just watching everything crumble around me.

I am very much a control freak.  I have a lot of theories in my head about how things have to be done in order to be considered finished correctly.  There is always an order, and a system and everything always falls into place.  Yes, if something doesn’t work it drives me insane and I become useless trying to figure out why it did not work.  I seriously am crazy like that, but at least no one else gets involved in my temporary insanity.  I do pretty well on my own because I am very independent and it is one of my pet peeves when people try to get involved in helping me out.

I think I need to refocus myself on getting out of these habits again.  I need to feel like it is all right to just leave things alone.  Even if it will make me go crazy and I will feel like I am contributing to the world’s chaos I think I have to.  At least then I will be a part of something bigger than myself?


What a week.

Filed under: Movies,Newest Entries,Strange Observations — pixystixy @ 1:20 am

Since I made a bad choice tonight and got all hopped up on frigging caffeine I am at the beginning of what seems to be a long, downward spiral towards a sleepless and restless night. I was thinking about a lot of events that happened to me this week. I am not a drama queen by any means. I hate dramatics. If I wanted entertainment I would watch TV.

For instance, on Thursday night, someone called me and told me that there was a strong possibility that they were going to jail, and if they did end up there, I was going to be their one phone call and it was imperative that I answer my cell phone at that time. Now, most people would probably want to know details about this. I really didn’t care. I just wanted to be left alone. I don’t want that kind of responsibility! Seriously, that sucks when people go to jail but I don’t want to be known as the girl who blew everything because I missed a phone call. I always miss phone calls. I am the first to admit that I am flaky and unreliable when it comes to answering my cell phone. Apparently this person has not been thrown in jail, or they had called someone else knowing that I would probably forget my cell phone in my car for hours on end. I don’t know.

One good thing did happen this week, however. I did get to see The Simpsons Movie on Friday and it was brilliant. The last few seasons of the TV show haven’t been very good in my opinion but the movie definitely was fun. I recommend seeing that before seeing I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. Chuck and Larry was definitely a let down for me but that’s another story I suppose.

Anyway … that is my random, tired yet over caffeinated babble. Enjoy.


I couldn’t sleep … July 24, 2007

Filed under: Humor,Lists,Strange Observations,Uncategorized — pixystixy @ 12:47 am

… so I decided to alphabetize my interests:

abercrombie boys, alligators, apple martinis, arizona, avoiding work, basketball, beautiful people, beauty, being blonde, being cheerful, being happy, being hot, being loud, being me, being positive, being with people, books, boys, brand new, bubble baths, bubble gum, bunnies, burn outs, camaros, candles, cars, cartoons, celebrity jeopardy, celicas, champagne, chapstick, cherries, cherry coke, chocolate, clothes, coach, conan o’brien, corona light, corvettes, cuddling, dancing, dogs, dragons, drinking, drinking water, driving, driving fast, eating, ebay, exploding dog, family, fashion, fast cars, fat tire, fiction, firebirds, flirting, flowers, foo fighters, football, friends, fun, getting dressed up, good kissers, grey goose, gucci, gummy bears, happy hour, having fun, high end cars, hip hop, hollister boys, hot boys, hot rods, hot wheels, hugs, ignoring people, jack and coke, jazz, joe cool, joe zombie, kissing, lemon martinis, lingerie, lip gloss, listening to music, literature, louis vuitton, makeup, making out, manchester united, manicures, martinis, meditation, meeting people, mongoose, movies, mr2s, music, new castle, new orleans, new york, nsx’s, parties, partying, perfection, pirates, pop rocks, prada, primered cars, punk, punk music, puppies, purses, rainy days, reading, rk sport, rock, rolling rock, scrubs, sex, sexy boys, sexy rap mixes, shooting stars, short skirts, silly string, skyy, sleeping, soccer, stars, string cheese, sunglasses, supras, swimming, swing music, taking pictures, tanning, tennis, tickling, trans ams, traveling, trouble, trucks, tucson, tuner cars, university of arizona, video games, vodka, volkswagons, whipped cream, zebras.

I will have to continue elaborating on this later.


In-N-Out Burger is like mana from heaven July 2, 2007

Filed under: Arizona,Humor,Strange Observations,The "Feeler" theory,Tucson — pixystixy @ 2:24 pm

The best thing about living in Tucson now is that we have a brand new In-N-Out Burger finally.  Every day I go to work, I imagine that lovely red and yellow sign just a block away.  After eating my wonderful burger and fries I feel like a new person.  I feel like I can rebuild homes for the homeless and douse burning wildfires single-handedly.  I think I can find the cure for cancer.

The wonderful thing about this new found emotion of sheer, powerful motivation is that I look at my pile of work after I finish this glorious meal and I immediately abandon all hope that this emotion will stick around.  If I didn’t feel discouraged after that then my feeler theory wouldn’t hold up.  Although the delicious morsels that is In-N-Out burger does mess with my mind, I still love it.

Yes, I do love In-N-Out burger.  And yes, I would marry it … if it was legal to do that sort of thing in Arizona.


My Reflection on the Chris Benoit News June 25, 2007

Filed under: Newest Entries,News,Strange Observations — pixystixy @ 10:35 pm

Even though I have never considered myself an avid wrestling fan, the WWE has been catching a lot of flack for the recent death of Chris Benoit and his family and personally, I think it is wrong to criticize the WWE for the Vince McMahon “death stunt” at this time.

WWE is fake. Everyone knows it, including it’s most devote fans. Vince McMahon’s death was a huge publicity scheme to draw in more viewers and I must say, it was just shocking and attention grabbing enough to do just that.

Now that the deaths of Chris Benoit and his family are lumped into this ordeal, it has become a target of public outpouring criticism and anger. To me, this is just as ridiculous as blaming Marilyn Manson for the Columbine shootings.

As much as we wish to pinpoint easy to solve reasons for horrible events, it is not that clean cut and clear. I listen to hard rock music and play Grand Theft Auto but I am still proud to say I have never shanked a prostitute or contemplated murdering anyone.

We can’t blame television, music or the movies for these events. Yes, somethings on T.V. are in poor taste and there are CDs I won’t buy from certain artists but we can’t blame a disgusting attempt at marketing wrestling to a larger demographic for its timing. Who knew?


To further comment (June 26, 2007 at 11:44 pm)

To be honest, the “teasers” they had about McMahon’s death had me interested in watching! It seemed like an exciting storyline had finally began. I do not believe that Chris Benoit’s death did anything but take away from this since the WWE had to abandon the storyline immediately to have their “tribute” episode. I do agree with “Casual Observation” who commented on my earlier entry that doing this tribute may have been in poor taste since this situation is being investigated as a double murder-suicide still, however I do understand why the WWE would choose to do it this way.

Chris Benoit, as a wrestler, was amazing. Obviously the WWE and wrestling fans everywhere want to remember him as just that. I believe that is why the tribute was done. Many, many years ago, before information was literally at everyone’s fingertips this may have been enough to put positive spin on what happened … even to the point of ignoring evidence. In the age of technology however, we cannot accept the fact that someone larger than life who is idolized by hundreds and thousands of people could do such a thing … even if it is still speculation at this point.

Just like the Virginia Tech massacre, people are outraged by this move. Just as people were angered by news stations airing the manifesto of a deranged killer then, people will be mad about a tribute to a suspected murderer now. I understand that from both angles.

I am a firm believer that when tragedy strikes, sometimes it is just in best taste to announce it to the world and leave it be until more information comes to light. Speculation at this point is worthless, especially since the sheriffs working on this case seem to be tight-lipped still. I believe that the best move is to feel things out first, since it is obvious controversy will surround this subject for quite some time now … however the WWE is not unfamiliar with controversy at all. In fact, it sort of thrives on it so who knows. Maybe it was their prerogative to air this tribute right after the news came out about Benoit’s death after all.  Obviously no one will ever know for sure … except of course the “late” Vince McMahon. 😉


WWE Star Chris Benoit found Dead — Vince McMahon “memorial service” cancelled

Filed under: Newest Entries,News,Strange Observations,Uncategorized — pixystixy @ 10:11 pm

Chris Benoit Dead: McMahon “Death” Storyline Ends Maybe there is something to the idea of “fooling death”, although the saying was not intended for how Professional Wrestling icon Vince McMahon is doing it. Following an elaborate “hoax” where McMahon allegedly faked his own death comes word that Professional Wrestler Chris Benoit has passed away.

The “death hoax” has already received a degree of backlash since it was conceived just prior to the sudden death of popular professional women’s wrestler, Sherri Martel. Autopsy reports concluded that Ms. Martel did not die of natural causes, however, foul play was not suspected.

McMahon’s camp was quick to end the “Vince McMahon is Dead” storyline on Monday.

Now comes word that Professional Wrestler Chris Benoit is dead and this one is especially alarming.

Wrestling star Chris Benoit, his wife, Nancy, and their 7-year-old son Daniel were found dead in their suburban Atlanta home Monday. Authorities are investigating the deaths as homicides.

Benoit, 40, was scheduled to spar against C.M. Punk in a pay-per-view event Sunday night in Houston for the Extreme Champion Wrestling title. But Benoit canceled before the event, citing personal reasons.

Lt. Tommy Pope of the Fayette County Sheriff’s Department told ABC News that Benoit had missed several appointments over the weekend, leading concerned parties to ask police to do a “welfare check.”

When sheriffs arrived at the Benoit home, they found the wrestler, his wife, and their son dead.

There was no sign of gunshot wounds or stabbing, according to Pope. But they are not ruling out other causes, such as poisoning, suffocation, or strangulation. Pope noted he was not confirming any of these causes — just not ruling them out at this time.

An autopsy has been scheduled for Tuesday morning at 10 a.m. However, it could be weeks before there is a result.

Following the announcement of the discovery, World Wrestling Entertainment issued a statement: “Chris was beloved among his fellow superstars, and was a favorite among WWE fans for his unbelievable athleticism and wrestling ability. He always took great pride in his performance, and always showed respect for the business he loved, for his peers and towards his fans. This is a terrible tragedy and an unbearable loss. WWE extends its sincere condolences and prayers to the Benoit family and loved ones in this time of tragedy.”

WWE announced that it would drop its planned line-up on the USA Network to air a three-hour tribute to Benoit.

Two weeks ago, a WWE storyline had Chairman Vince McMahon step into a limo and presumably get blown up though the story was quickly deemed a “hoax” by mainstream media (not necessarily so by the Professional Wrestling circuit).

Considering the recent demise of WWE Superstar Chris Benoit and his family, and the live showing of McMahon in the empty arena of the canceled June 25th, 2007 edition of RAW, McMahon appeared Monday to break the news, thus ending the “Vince McMahon is dead” storyline.

WWE canceled the scheduled three hour long live RAW show on June 25, and replaced the broadcast version with a tribute to his life and career, featuring his past matches, segments from the Hard Knocks DVD and comments from wrestlers and announcers.

Christopher Costigan, Gambling911.com

Originally published June 25, 2007 10:45 pm ET

WWE wrestler Chris Benoit and family found dead



June 25, 2007, 8:58 PM EDT

Renowned pro wrestler Chris Benoit, his wife and their 7-year-old-son, were found dead Monday afternoon in their Fayetville, Ga. home, Atlanta police said.

Police would not give any details on how Benoit, 40, his wife Nancy, and son Daniel died, other than to say they were not shot to death, the Atlanta-Journal Constitution reported Monday. Authorities are investigating the deaths and are considering the possibility of a murder-suicide, where Benoit killed his family over the weekend and himself on Monday. The three bodies were found in different rooms of the home, according to reports.

The news came just a day after Benoit mysteriously pulled out of a World Wrestling Entertainment pay per view event, during which he was expected to be crowned Extreme Championship Wrestling world champion. Various pro wrestling news sources reported that Benoit was unable to appear at the event due to a family emergency.

“There are no further details at this time, other than the Benoit family residence is currently being investigated by local authorities,” the WWE said in a statement on its Web site.

Benoit was a 22-year ring veteran and perennial favorite of wrestling purists, who praised his high-intensity style and technical acumen. His aggressive wrestling technique earned him the nicknames “The Crippler” and “The Rabid Wolverine.” In 2000 and 2004, he was named Oustanding Wrestler of the Year by the Wrestling Observer newsletter and in 2004 he was named Wrestler of the Year by Pro Wrestling Illustrated magazine.

The Edmonton, Canada native trained to become a wrestler in Calgary, and honed his skills in Japan before becoming a regular on U.S. national promotions in the mid-1990s. Benoit’s career highlight took place in New York, when he won his first World Wrestling Entertainment world heavyweight championship in Madison Square Garden in the main event of WrestleMania XX.

Benoit cried as he celebrated in the ring with his wife and son, as well as best friend, wrestler Eddie Guerrero, who died in 2005.

“Wrestling has consumed my life,” Benoit said in a 2004 WWE career retrospective video. “Wrestling is my mistress. It’s my passion. It defines who I am as a person.”

WWE Monday night canceled its scheduled live 3-hour “Monday Night RAW” program, which coincidentally was originally billed as a “memorial service” for WWE chairman Vince McMahon, whose character was recently killed off in a controversial scripted storyline.

McMahon opened the show from center ring in an empty arena and clarified that Benoit and his family had died “in reality.” McMahon called Benoit “one of the greatest WWE superstars of all-time.”


Tucson boys stink. June 24, 2007

Filed under: Arizona,Strange Observations,Tucson — pixystixy @ 11:25 am

I think there must be an art to dating and being charming for girls somewhere.  So far the only thing I have heard is that girls just have to be cute to get dates.  I know that is not true, however.  Mainly because I think I am pretty cute and I don’t have guys lining up for me but who knows.

Maybe they are all intimidated by my greatness?  Or maybe I just need to learn to let go and forget about boys for awhile.

I remember I used to be like a pimp … I had three boyfriends at once!  Now I can’t even have a real date.  I think maybe I need to get the stench of failure off of my body.  I need to continue on my track  of success and maybe that will rub off on other aspects of my life.

I blame Tucson.  It is like every good looking, smart funny guy in Tucson is either married, seriously involved with someone or something else or gay.  Tucson could be more fun if there were just a few more average people like me in it.  Yes … it is Tucson’s fault for my lack of dating.


Today is the best kind of day June 17, 2007

Filed under: Strange Observations,Uncategorized — pixystixy @ 11:46 am

The best kind of day, is when you can wake up, eat something small and tasty and kick back in bed again.  After a few hours of just relaxing I am so ready to go!

So what if my day doesn’t begin until after noon … it was so worth it.