A healthy dose of daily randomness

Highlights from my journal (Week 1) August 27, 2007

Filed under: Lists,Personal,Strange Observations,The "Feeler" theory — pixystixy @ 12:00 am

“Since I have yet been able to master the art of communication, and I do not feel comfortable discussing my feelings with other people I started this journal.  I had a nervous breakdown today and I believe this will be somewhat therapeutic for me.

… (edited for content)  🙂

My main problem is that I feel emotionally damaged.  I always give, and give and give and when things don’t work out, I feel like pieces of my soul are lost forever because of it.

Today was interesting because I got to see Superbad with Chris.  It was an awesome movie and it really made me want to change my name to McLovin.  I am convinced that only good can come from that.

I want to start setting goals for myself.  Here are some recent ideas:

1.)  Learn to speak Polish fluently

2.)  Lose 10-15 pounds, just to feel healthier and happier

3.)  Smile more

The last one is most important to me.  I want people to see me as a happy and positive individual and smiling always helps with gaining confidence and trust with new people.  Being fluent in Polish is also important to me.  I will sort of feel like I am letting my heritage go if I don’t even try and my family worked so hard to come to this country and provide a life for my parents and for me I really want to hang on to that.”

Yes, that was the Reader’s Digest version and I left out all of the juicy personal details but it is definitely a step in the right direction for me.  Maybe I will build up enough confidence to one day feel better about putting the way I feel out there for everyone to see but this is just one little baby step at a time.


In-N-Out Burger is like mana from heaven July 2, 2007

Filed under: Arizona,Humor,Strange Observations,The "Feeler" theory,Tucson — pixystixy @ 2:24 pm

The best thing about living in Tucson now is that we have a brand new In-N-Out Burger finally.  Every day I go to work, I imagine that lovely red and yellow sign just a block away.  After eating my wonderful burger and fries I feel like a new person.  I feel like I can rebuild homes for the homeless and douse burning wildfires single-handedly.  I think I can find the cure for cancer.

The wonderful thing about this new found emotion of sheer, powerful motivation is that I look at my pile of work after I finish this glorious meal and I immediately abandon all hope that this emotion will stick around.  If I didn’t feel discouraged after that then my feeler theory wouldn’t hold up.  Although the delicious morsels that is In-N-Out burger does mess with my mind, I still love it.

Yes, I do love In-N-Out burger.  And yes, I would marry it … if it was legal to do that sort of thing in Arizona.


Angry! Loud Noises! June 5, 2007

Filed under: Strange Observations,The "Feeler" theory — pixystixy @ 9:45 pm

Today I was really mad all day long.  I am not sure why exactly, but everything I thought would help didn’t and I continued to be mad all day long.  I just barely got over it.

I tried eating a delicious ham and cheese sandwich from eegee’s and that didn’t help.  I ate not one, but two, Nestle Crunch ice cream bars and that didn’t help.  I even ranted and raved about punching people in the head and still was mad.  Usually the last one helps too.

No, my feeler was just really broken today.  Perhaps I should trade it in like a broken car?  I didn’t feel well until I watched The Wonder Years.  That show did it for me.  I can’t be angry when that show is on.  It is so weird because I hate chick flicks, and I hate any sort of sappy crap but even the theme song from that show makes me tear up.  I have seen every episode but I am not tired of that show at all.  It reminds me of when I was a kid.

It sort of calmed me down.  I had myself all worked up into a frenzy today.  I hope tomorrow is better!


Today was one of a kind … May 30, 2007

Filed under: The "Feeler" theory,The MySpace Disease — pixystixy @ 10:01 pm

Today was a roller coaster of ups and downs. I am hoping that if I get a lot of good sleep and try to motivate myself I can make tomorrow a better day. My feeler must be damaged or something the way how I swung from emotion to emotion … I didn’t sad today, just angry or average. I hit happy at the end of the day. The guy with AIDS on the middle to late seasons of Beverly Hills 90210 said, “Avoid melancholy at all costs.” I think he is right.  That is the worst feeling ever.  I just will eliminate sadness entirely from my feeler chart.

In other news, I was informed that the “MySpace” is not only a social disease, but it is also an addiction that many people suffer from. I almost slipped into this addiction, mainly because I check my personal email on a daily basis and the MySpace has these tantalizing little emails stating that someone has sent a message, or left a comment, or wants to be a friend.

I was checking it on a daily basis because of those evil little notes suggesting that I should … I don’t think I will anymore. At least not more than twice a week. It has been two whole days since I have gone on that evil web page. I feel quite good about it. I think I will wait until Friday at least before I let the mystery get to me.


Current feeling – Inadequate! Where is that one, damn it?! May 28, 2007

Filed under: Humor,Strange Observations,The "Feeler" theory — pixystixy @ 1:23 pm

So yes, in one of my previous postings I described how I only have one feeling at a time and how I should write a book about it and maybe invent a feeling chart so people can point at whatever feeling they have … apparently some moron already stole my idea. DAMN IT.



My Feeling May 18, 2007

Filed under: Humor,The "Feeler" theory — pixystixy @ 7:39 pm

Most people who know me realize that I can only handle one emotion at a time. It’s not that I don’t want more than one, it is more or less that fact that I do get overwhelmed when I experience two or more dramatic emotions.

I like to refer to my one allocated emotion at a time as “my feeling” or occasionally “my feeler” and sometimes that makes people think I am crazy. Sometimes I like to remind my friends or family that what they had just said or done has “hurt my feeling” and I hope they would stop.

Very rarely does my feeling get hurt though. Most of the time I consider myself happy. It doesn’t really get sketchy until mood swings start happening. I try to avoid them at all costs but mood swings are like angry muggers who hold my feeler against its will at gunpoint. Mood swings take my feeler’s lunch money and then punch it in the face. My feeling … now disoriented and betrayed (yes, my FEELER can have more than one emotion, only I elect not to) starts making me do crazy things. It first makes me swear violiently and loud. Then it makes me sit and stare unproductively. Occasionally it then moves on to happier things but most of the time it goes through a two feeling rotation of angry and sadness for awhile first.

Many people I am sure think that the single emotion system cannot support a completely normal individual and I am missing out on other things (like being happy AND in love) but the longer one thinks about it, the more I am sure they realize that usually having more than one emotion is overrated. Seriously, my life has become dramatically simplier since I began using this scientific system of organizing my emotion.

I think that perhaps one day my theory of emotion will catch on. Maybe I should write a book about it and publish a chart of acceptable emotions one can feel one at a time. It will sort of rival the “pain chart” that hospitals use. Only instead of just a slightly annoyed face going to a screaming in agony face, it will have all sort of interesting emotional genres.

Maybe my feeling chart will catch on and people will just point to how they feel instead of freaking out and punching people in the face for their lunch money. Wow. I could really make a difference in the world.