pixystixy

A healthy dose of daily randomness

Me and myself July 29, 2007

Filed under: Personal,Strange Observations — pixystixy @ 11:55 am

One thing that I have realized about myself is the fact that I am very different from almost everyone else I know.  I feel like I am not as needy or as demanding as most people and I sometimes think to myself that everything is kind of out of control in the world around me and I can’t help but feel hopeless in just watching everything crumble around me.

I am very much a control freak.  I have a lot of theories in my head about how things have to be done in order to be considered finished correctly.  There is always an order, and a system and everything always falls into place.  Yes, if something doesn’t work it drives me insane and I become useless trying to figure out why it did not work.  I seriously am crazy like that, but at least no one else gets involved in my temporary insanity.  I do pretty well on my own because I am very independent and it is one of my pet peeves when people try to get involved in helping me out.

I think I need to refocus myself on getting out of these habits again.  I need to feel like it is all right to just leave things alone.  Even if it will make me go crazy and I will feel like I am contributing to the world’s chaos I think I have to.  At least then I will be a part of something bigger than myself?

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